Comments - Latest Popular Stories, Instablogs Community by Madkat70

Asmita

Asmita — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

SO true Madhuri...

And I so hope this story is completely fictional too... In these fast-paced times we rarely find time to connect to other poeple on any level...

Everyone is trying to get ahead, and like a popular ad on TV professes, ”Move On” without any regrets or remorse...

These days people who show concern for other people’s emotions are branded losers and suckers and everyone tried to take advantage of their good nature...

As a result some of these people end up becoming just as callous and cunning as the rest...

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks,Asmita!

I think you are one of the busiest members of community and yet you connect so well in the community.

Some people really find it difficult to connect with self and others...I was just trying to explore one such lonely soul...

Sasmita

Sasmita — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

O’ it’s very commom with the young generation. Many love and then leave. They don’t feel attched deeply to any relation, nor they have any remorse for what has happened. In the modern taxonomy it’s not betrayal but just the right way to go forward.

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I feel surprised that they are clear and honest about what they feel and they don’t want to feel any attachment or remorse either...

Fariha Jamil

Fariha Jamil — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I like your Madhuri, true and simple :)

Fariha Jamil

Fariha Jamil — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Oh i meant i like your *story* Madhuri!!!

;)

ACtually i just woke up ....*yawn yawn*

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks Fariha,

I wrote it after a nightmare about growing lack of emotions and compassion in our society...

Fariha Jamil

Fariha Jamil — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Yes Madhuri it is in fact scary... wat if one day we come to know that even our parents were pretending that they loved us??

Scary, isnt it?

Ramesh Balam

Ramesh Balam — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

How true ! Good writing, dear.

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Hah! And you thought I won’t find this, huh! ;)

First observation: Yes, this thing about cell phones being a pick-up conduit is so true! I’ve seen it many times. Guy meets girl over mobile and vice versa. They burn the lines as if there’s no tomorrow, or text till arthritis kingdom come, set a date for ’eyeball,’ and so on and so forth - as the usual twists and turns to this kind of story expectedly unfold.

But the thing with this kind of ’intimacy’ is that it’s as shallow as water on a riverbed during El Nino!

But you know what? And this may come as a surprise: both girl and guy know that it’s nothing more than a game of fun.

I don’t think the subjects in a story such as this really want to feel anything.

I’m not one to over-read the levels of attachment or ’feelings’ in this kind of set-up.

Maybe, it’s just us outside the circle of two who read into this as lacking of emotion or pertinent compassion or attachment.

The SMS has revolutionized relationships as we know them.

I dunno... Maybe, I’m just being a ’romantic in denial’ or a ’romantic in hiatus’ as Graeme just said in his comment at my post.

LOL

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks Grace,

But isn’t meaning of intimacy changing?

Love is the most marketed emotion yet it comes across as such shallow indulgence.

So if I extend a bit further, how can you expect sms generation to react deeply about anything...

LOL:)

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I think communication is a terrifying thing when left alone. It simply means a message is sent by a sender and received by a receiver via a channel- and back the same sequence.

So, if that’s the benchmark, emotion is nowhere there in that linear/parallel diagram.

Btw, a very realistic topic you wrote here, madkat! Congratulations!

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks, Grace.

I am just trying to explore why there is ’emotional vacuum’? and why we don’t seem to care enough? A mere extension of discussion on other blogs.

So do you think communication has a role in making us react less emotionally whereas the images and media coverage should have done otherwise?

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

But you’re right. A repetitious trend of such ’unfeeling’ and ’uncommitted’ acts can contribute to the ’numbness’ of the SMS generation.

This SMS ’relationship’ thing is yet the newest adult toy. LOL

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

My take on this ’emotional vacuum’ might be a little off the beaten track here.

I still believe that emotion rise out of a stimulus. It needs a trigger.

So, this emotional vacuum might just be a result of no trigger or poor stimulus or both, not to mention boring precedents.

LOL

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

sorry *emotionS*

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Many things will be re-defined in the modern world. The basic premise of relationship too may change...

I don’t blame SMS generation for not feeling and making everything a toy game-a mere indulgence. They are lonely souls.

Btw the story is not totally fictional.

LOL:)

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I think the story is reality. I’ve seen that case one too many times here in the Philippines. People here text till their knuckles bleed!

And this thing about ’eyeball’ is so common. I’ve known some people who play this kid of game.

The sad result is that some become victims of mugging, hold-up, rape, even death in these ’eyeballs’ that spring from mobile acquaintances.

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Hmm, Maybe you are right the right trigger or stimulus is missing...

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Yes, madkat, the emotional response is less wanting than the emotional stimulus.

Gone are the days of fire and brimstone, and fiery rhetoric, and mind-boggling love. We’ve come to the age of jaded lives and boring issues (boring because they just repeat themselves).

We need an emotional revolution to shake us all out of the stupor we’re in.

We have to stop intellectualizing and philosophizing about everything!

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Grace,

Isn’t it a catch-22 kind of situation, where will emotions come from to trigger an emotional revolution?

LOL:)

Grace

Grace — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Then, that’s the role of opinion makers who are, invariably, writers. These are the ones that sway sentiment. I think that’s stressed in Arjun’s post.

Writers of opinion have a very tall order of responsibility because they make or break collective imagination.

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Grace,

Thats a very Very tall order indeed! I think we are facing a wall...

:)LOLz

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thats a very VERY tall order indeed!!

:)LOLZ

Jayashree

Jayashree — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Hey Madhuri, cool post!

Most youngsters today seem unable to accept intimacy with anyone unless they are first intimate with their phones. It seems almost as though a barrier, like a phone or computer, has to be there constantly as they communicate. And the person who sms’ them the most is considered the closest friend.

I feel you’re right about people being ’emotionally deficient’ (I like that term!). Like a popular ad on TV, people seem able to turn their emotions on/off whenever they wish.

Sometimes, I wouldn’t really mind being able to do that!

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks, Jayashree.

I feel nervous when I confront a wall while talking to some of my nephews and nieces. They don’t reveal anything.

But they sound so affectionate over phone. So I prefer talking to my young relatives on phone than meeting them in person.

I don’t know where our telecommunications is taking us...

:)

Celso Camargo

Celso Camargo — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

To feel alone is something typical of modern society. At the same time we want to connect with someone, we depart ourselves from others to preserve our own individuality. Our social ties are increasingly fragile.

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Celso,

Thanks for reading this...

I don’t know whether this is so in particular social set-ups or is prevalent everywhere in all socio-economic groups.

I hope social-ties will re-invent themselves...

FutureSpot

FutureSpot — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I wonder what her home life was like when she was very young to a pre-teen? Are there any clues there?

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Yes, I too feel the problem lies at home front and in the upbringing. But then I see multiple teenagers suffering the same syndrome...

Maybe families are becoming smaller and there are no siblings to share emotions with...

I notice these kids are not outgoing and don’t have many hobbies and there is much academic pressure.

Leena Komarraju

Leena Komarraju — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I think regardless of a fast paced life or increasing electronic communication an emotional person will feel deeply. More than the external factors it is our own selfish and materialistic mindset that makes us shallow individuals.

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

...And we end up passing these shallow materialistic values to our children as well...

:)

Jaiyant Cavale

Jaiyant Cavale — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Sorry for the late comment Madhuri.. This is an excellent piece which again continues our previous observation that we as humans have stopped feeling and have, become blase and jaded. I think the quality of being insensitive t romantic love is because we have so many options to choose from today. Thanks to the net and the mobile phone cheating has become so easy and finding a new partner is not exciting anymore. In such a scenario, people do become ’used’ to easy romance and that is what is killing the emotion part of it all.

So now we don’t react but do some cold planning even in the sphere of relationships.. which is really unfortunate. I’m sure the boy moved on too.. thanks to his mobile phone..

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks Jaiyant for your input.

I think love, emotions and personal committment at individual level form a basic character of a person. And these basic units of individuals form a society. So I guess we see a collective easy going and casual approach towards everything.

Jaiyant Cavale

Jaiyant Cavale — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

”I think love, emotions and personal commitment at individual level form a basic character of a person. ”

Alas.. If only people realized that and behaved accordingly...

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Jaiyant,

You know the whole world intices you to pamper self but does not encourage you to become a strong person at the same time.

:)

Abhishek Asthana

Abhishek Asthana — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Hi Madhuri,

Good work! It is so true that that people have become more detached and disconnected. It has become an age of more smiles per second, more words per minute but less feelings per day. There is more gloss and less skin.

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks, Abhisek

I hope some day people will get bored with gloss and skin and try to re-connect with themselves and others...

:)

Simple

Simple — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

yes, this is what happens in modern world. In India it is better.In few countries there will be lot of relationships, one after another. if they have such feelings they will stick to one..I always wonder whether they have this first love feeling and you know ’the feeling’ that we won’t get in other relationships. May be those people are looking for the best so that they need not compromise for anything in the future. In my opinion, true love needs real understanding, high tolerance and humbling ourselves to an extent. No pain no gain..it is also true in Love. Well, it is from my experience ok :D

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Relationships are individual matters. But lacking in feeling and compassion for others can be dangerous for a society. You are right we should be able to feel intense pain, only then we can understand love. Everyone tries to escape this intense pain these days...

:)

Suvm

Suvm — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I think it makes sense to look at the priorities of the present generation.

I thought I’ll make a comparison of a society in India say about 2 or 3 gens earlier and now.

Earlier these relationships came through marriages. And then marriages themselves came with a lifetime guarantee and it was arranged by your parents more often than not. In fact it was considered good to get ”settled” this way. It meant emotional, social and economical stablity and success in life. Parents, relatives and friends would agonize over this matter. So you HAD to buid the emotional relationships even if you didn’t get a perfect partner. (The downside is you stayed put even if you got a bad/evil one.) And these values were driven home quite early in life. Have these concepts changed in the modern world?

Success today is related to doing well in studies, getting a highly paid job, buying a swanky car and gadgets. Having a relationship is ”cool” but is no longer a necessary factor for success.

In earlier gens it was scandalous to have bf or gf. Now it’s cool to have one and cooler still to have many of them and keep changing them often. At least that’s how the ads on TV show them.

So while the girl in your story is very emotional about her success in college and competitions, boyfriends are just a hobby.

I think the emotions are there, but maybe they are connected differently?

Probably she is young and will go through this phase and later in life realize the values of long lasting and emotional relationships (with humans).

Vincent Van Ross

Vincent Van Ross — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Madhuri,

I missed this story when you put it out. But, I guess it is not too late to comment. This is an interesting story.

The picture of dolls aptly summarises your story. Dolls have no emotions. The other thing that I learnt from your story is that love is like a phone call–you talk as long as you want. You disconnect the call when you have had enough. Then you never think about the call. It is a sorry state of affairs if it is true.

Madhuri Katti

Madhuri Katti — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:00:00 +0000

Vincent,

I don’t know if the girl has no emotions. She does react emotionally about certain issues...

I do see many young people unable to connect emotionally. It is really sad...

Maybe it a mere dolls and mobile game for some...

Thank you for your comment.

:)