Letting go...
Madhuri Katti , Kolkata: Jul 24 2008
Made Popular Jul 24 2008

On the first day of his school my son refused to leave my hand. He had to enter the premises to embark on his solitary journey. I was extremely sad. It took him nearly a week to learn to let go my hand and be on his own.

My close friend was unhappy after marriage. She felt a bit out of tune. But her husband didn’t let her move away. Maybe he felt he had enough love for both of them. They are a family of now and she emails me their pictures -happy pictures. Maybe her life would have been different if her husband had let her go…

I know a person who travels across the continents to spend vacation with her beloved. She has husband and kids back home. But she feels ‘magic’ of love is missing in her marriage. She has embarked on a heart-breaking destructive magical journey and looks forward only for next vacation. She doesn’t want to let go either.

When mother got married to my father she didn’t know him at all. It was an arranged marriage. She was married into a conservative family. She got herself shaped into a mould which was not made for her. She was a classical singer and state level tennis champion. She let go her pursuit of classical music and sports.

I also know another person. One fine day his wife decided to end the marriage. No reasons given. They have a kid. After legal proceedings they separated. He has learnt to let his marriage, his wife and even his son go away. He meets his son on weekends.

I had an American neighbor. He had come to India for few weeks. He loved all the dogs in the neighbourhood and strummed his guitar whole night. One day he in a fit of rage he ended up beating somebody. It was a scary fit of anger. Later when he apologized, he shared his personal angst. He could never let go the anger and disappointment from his life ever since his parents separated. He was only a kid when they divorced…

I can never forget another friend. When I went to meet her between her chemo sessions, she told me, “Please let’s talk about life. Do you like mountains? I want to see the snow-capped mountains turning golden with sun-rays.” Then she blinked away her tears and said, “You know I see death in the eyes of friends and relatives who come to see me. I am not dead yet. I want to talk of life.” She defied all pain and agony and even death. She painted, did embroidery on small pieces of cloths and gave them away to her visitors. She refused to let go her love for life…

In the end I want talk of my most handsome and intelligent friend. He had married his class-mate. They were always seen together from first day of their college life. They studied same subject and both were into research. One fine day they discovered he was suffering from malignant brain tumour. Within weeks he slipped into coma. His wife had to let him slip away. She later told me that for weeks she would just commute in crowded trains, going particularly nowhere, in a state of numbness, trying to find some thread of thought which would bring some explanation, some solace and some sanity.

Most difficult part of being human beings is loosening the grip and letting go…

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1 Stars
Grace
Quezon City, Philippines
This is very touching, Madhuri. I can still feel the pinch in my heart...
1 Stars
Thank you, Grace...
Whatever we try hard to hold ends up slipping away...LOL
1 Stars
Reshmi
Bangalore, India
Madhuri, your article shows even simple words can weave magic and strike a chord somewhere. I don’t know why I was reminded of Somerset Maugham’s ”Of Human Bondage” when I read this. Thanx for such wonderful contributions. It makes me look forward to read more write ups on Insta.
1 Stars
Thank you, Reshmi.
Life enriches us with these small emotions and personal experiences. I wasn’t sure about sharing them on Insta.But finally I did...
1 Stars
Fariha Jamil
Lahore, Pakistan
Beautiful Indeed!

As they say, ”the things which are considered best are those which hurt us the most.”
1 Stars
Vincent Ross
New Delhi, India
Mahuri,
This is a very well knit story. I really enjoyed reading it.
1 Stars
Vincent, these are real life stories, I have just put them together...
1 Stars
Nishi Roy
Bangalore, India
Beautifully written Madhuri. Very touching and so very true.
1 Stars
Thanks, Nishi
Life can be subtle, beautiful and tragic...I have merely collected some real experiences and stories...
1 Stars
Jaiyant Cavale
Bangalore, India
It is so generous of you to share such private experiences. Very touching indeed. Yes, letting go is the most difficult part of it all.. Once we learn to stay detached we can stay a lot more peacefully.. But we always want to be attached.. not let go.. because letting go is scarily equivalent to non existence and death itself...
1 Stars
Jaiyant,
These subtle emotions are beauty of human beings. Life will lose its beauty if all people learn to stay detached...

When I see terror attacks images, I feel deeply saddened, so many of people had to let go their dear ones...such a brutal rude shock was waiting for them when they stepped out of homes...
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